Shock, Grief, Confusion and…What?!
Too often in our society, we look at differences and see them as setbacks. Words like ‘handicapped’ ‘disabled’ and ‘impaired’ all carry strong negative connotations to them. These terms all say the same thing, ‘this person has a problem that stops them from doing everything “normally”’.
No.
No, no, no, no, no!
THIS is the problem with our society today. We are too focused on what makes us different and not enough on how we can join together to embrace these individualities. What is also painful is the fact that so many people look at our world through such a critical and exclusive eye, that they fail to see anything positive about a group and would rather focus solely on the negative. There are multiple approaches to the education of children who are born deaf or hard of hearing. Three of the main education paths are Sign (ASL), Oral or Total Communication (TC). Granted, there are variations to each of these that are different through out the country, however, these three options are the most common. While the Deaf community fully supports the ASL method and some, even the TC rout, very, very few will give their blessing to the oralist approach. The following is on the introduction page of a pro-oral program:
“Every parent has dreams for their child. When they learn their child is deaf, these dreams can be shattered. Parents initially feel shock, grief, confusion and devastation. But for parents who want their children to listen and speak, there is hope.”
It is important to really understand what this is saying. Look at the language used. “dreams can be shattered” “shock, grief, confusion and devastation”. Grief?! Devastation?! Who has ever been devastated that they had brought a perfect child into this world, regardless of their hearing capabilities?! Though I am, obviously, very biased towards certain methods of education, I will make this very clear right now:
I have nothing against people who choose other paths for their children or for themselves. However, I am VERY much against parents who make decisions for their children’s futures basing everything off of statements like these and without doing any further research. Just as it is for any child born with a medical issue, parents must fully inform themselves from various sources before a decision can be properly made. The following is another excerpt from this same website:
“The hard work pays off. Deaf and hearing impaired children not only learn to listen and speak, but sing, play musical instruments, act, attend top colleges, pursue any career goals, and in general enjoy friends and family with little, if any, difference from hearing individuals. As one parent described it, “expect miracles.” The joy this brings is beyond words, and it is possible for every deaf child to achieve the same.”
Initially, this sounds positive, right? Well, I guess that depends on what you’re looking at. Taking a closer look at the list of possibilities for an oralist student, we find that it includes ‘attend top colleges’ ‘pursue any career goals’ and ‘enjoy friends’. Again, what is this saying? That any deaf child who does not go into this type of program will grow up, not attend college, get a job or have friends? Maybe I am taking this on a much too personal level, but I just can’t see the point in posting these types of things to a website. Parents who have deaf babies are already confused as to what to do and how to handle it, especially if they have never encountered the Deaf community before. However, it is statements like these that scare them into making rash decisions that could… no, will impact their children’s entire futures. Marlee Matlin, a profoundly Deaf actress was quoted by saying the following and I believe it is a great concept to end with:
“All it takes to realize that a deaf person can rise to any task is a little awareness and interaction. All it takes is a little awareness. I like to say that the greatest handicap of deafness does not lie in the ear, it lies in the mind.”
